Five ludicrously expensive Father's Day gifts

I’m not proud of this, because I love my father very much, but I’m pretty terrible at remembering Father’s Day – and even worse at actually sending my dad something to commemorate the occasion. I’m lousy with dates and holidays in general, so it’s certainly nothing personal, but I feel pretty rotten about it all the same.

Here at MMI, of course, we like to preach financial responsibility and making smart money decisions. And certainly there are a lot of great, low-to-no cost gift ideas floating around out there that your dad will love and appreciate.

But I’m way behind. So I need to go a bit bigger. Here are some of the ideas I’ve come up with so far:

Le Burger Extravagant

Knowing my dad, he’d probably just prefer to grill some burgers in backyard, but too bad! I’ve got some catching up to do.

Serendipity 3, a restaurant in New York City, offers what’s currently recognized as the world’s most expensive hamburger. It contains Japanese Wagyu beef infused with white truffle butter, topped with shaved black truffles, fried quail eggs and what I presume must be cheese made from unicorn milk. There’s also some caviar and a diamond-encrusted toothpick thrown in for good measure.

And it only costs $295.

…I think I’ll put that one in the Maybe pile for now.

Mitchell & King GRV car wax

My dad’s pretty big on keeping his car clean. When the weather’s right, he likes to scrub his car down regularly. In fact, if you visit for long enough, eventually his compulsion will drive him to wash your car as well. It’s a sickness, really. A really useful sickness.

So maybe he’d enjoy the special edition car wax recently released by luxury car care specialists Mitchell & King. It costs $97,060 and comes in a 24ct gold-plated Swarovski encrusted container, so presumably after my dad is done coating his family sedan with the patented “gold shimmer” he can use the bottle to hold something else – like used bacon grease or his tears of confused disappointment.

Dodge Tomahawk V10 Superbike

If you’re like me, you probably had no idea that something called a “superbike” could even exist outside of video games and 20 year-old Jackie Chan movies. I vaguely recall my father riding a motorcycle once. Like, literally one time. But I’m pretty sure that bike didn’t have a top speed in excess of 300 mph.

Sadly, the legend is that Dodge only produced 10 of the Tomahawks and that the bikes were never street legal anyway (although I’m pretty sure my father is above the law).

Oh, and the price tag? Between $550,000 and $700,000. Oh well. Maybe when the V11 comes out...

PrestigeHD Supreme Rose Edition television

Good televisions are expensive anyway, so why not go all out? How far out? How does $2,270,000 out sound to you?

What does two and a half MILLION dollars get you these days? In this case, a 55” HDTV with a base and frame made of solid 18ct rose gold. The inner frame is made of hand-sewn alligator skin, while the outer frame is plastered with gems, including 72 round cut 1ct flawless diamonds.

I’m pretty sure it still plays the same episodes of Duck Dynasty and Breaking Bad that you’ve been watching on your plastic, non-bejeweled television though. Plus, the whole thing weighs about 62 pounds and my dad has a bad back. I think I’m going to have to pass.

22-carat gold shirt

As the story goes, it took 15 goldsmiths 15 days working approximately 18 hours a day to craft the world’s most expensive shirt, which makes it sound more like something you go on a quest with elves and dwarves to recover than a piece of weekend outerwear.

The shirt weighs about eight pounds and cost Indian moneylender Datta Phuge $250,000 to create. It’s lined with velvet and cannot be washed, which means that my father unfortunately can’t wear it while mowing the lawn, which is really the only time he’d likely be tempted to wear a shirt made entirely of gold.  Still, it is quite a glorious sight...

Of course, I can’t really afford any of these items, and I don’t think my father would them enjoy them anyway (as much as he loves fried quail eggs). I’m guessing the same is probably true for you and your family. So make sure you let your father know how you feel about him this Father’s Day and don’t worry so much about the cost!

• For great (slightly more reasonable) Father's Day gift ideas, check out these five frugal options.
• Still not sure what to give your dad? How about a personalized Father’s Day gift certificate?
• We’ve also got some great tips on where to take your father out to eat on his big day.
• And, mostly importantly, remember to listen to what your father has to say. Some of it can be pretty smart! (Some of it.)