I revisited an article this morning that I tucked away several months ago. The article, "How to Lead by Example: Dr. Schuler's Ten Rules for Working and Living," by Dr. A.J. Schuler, discusses ten "attitudes" for leading by example. The article really inspired me, and the more I read, the more I thought about these attitudes and their connection to other aspects of life, like finances. Hmmm…maybe the new name for the article should be "How to Lead By Example…Ten Rules for Achieving Financial Wellness." Here are a few of the doctor's rules and my financial interpretations of each:

Rule #1: The Lives we Live are the Lives we Create

No one forced us to buy the car we couldn't afford or the dress that we couldn't live without. We are responsible for our financial decisions and, thus, the impact these decisions have on our lives. Make a conscious decision to take control of your finances. Set achievable goals to help you create the life you want. If you want to create a savings cushion, aim to save at least $25 each month. Even if you start small…it’s still a start. Here are "tips for change" to consider.

Rule #2: Health and Productivity go Hand in Hand

"Fiscal Fitness" is important too. In fact, studies show that employees' financial concerns have been linked to decreases in productivity and increased stress at work. Getting your fiscal state in order impacts more than your bank account. Here are some resources to help you get financially fit.

Rule #3: Don’t Wait for Solutions: Create Them

Instead of waiting for the right solution to come along, seek it out. Identify your problem, assess the situation, research options and implement a solution. For example, are you living paycheck to paycheck? Jot down all of your expenses, your debts, and your income. Review the list to understand where you're spending money. If you spend a majority on groceries, research coupon clipping. Clip some coupons and test it out for a month. Here are some additional resources to help you.

Rule #4: Negativity Kills

The power of positive thinking has a lot going for it. Congratulate yourself on paying off a credit card instead of harping on the two others that need to be paid. It may be seem like a long road, but keeping your head held high is the only way to make it through a tough situation. Read positive success stories from some of our clients here.

Rule #5: In the End, We Are All More or Less Human

The good doctor has a point! We are human and we make mistakes. Use mistakes made as opportunities to learn more about yourself and your finances. Keep a financial journal to record your ups and downs and review it from time to time. You may be surprised how much you learn about yourself.

I hope these lessons inspire you to make a change for the better. Do you have any rules or lessons that inspire or guide you? (Dr. A. J. Schuler is an expert in leadership and organizational change. To find out more about his programs and services, visit SchulerSolutions.com.)

One of my favorite features of MoneyManagement.org is the ability for consumers to submit questions and receive a personal answer via email. Our "Ask the Experts" column has been running for many years and in that time we have answered hundreds of thousands of questions related to credit, debt, and money management.  Keeping with this week's love and money theme, I thought I would post some commonly asked questions about couples and finance. 

Question: I have just broke up with my girlfriend because of her uncontrollable spending addiction. The crux came a few days ago when I found she had withdrawn several thousand dollars from my account. I have tried to reason with her, but she continues to take money. Is there really any chance she will change? We have been together for two years happily—except for her money problem. -Bob, Utah

Answer: Sometimes knowledge and drive aren’t enough to help someone overcome their financial problems. For some consumers, there are underlying psychological issues related to debting that should be explored with a trained professional. Before money problems destroy an otherwise good relationship, please contact the nonprofit Debtors Anonymous at 781-453-2743 or visit them at DebtorsAnonymous.org.

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Question: My fiancé and I plan to get married within the next year. We recently applied for a joint car loan and I discovered that his credit his horrible! I have worked hard to build a good credit history. Will his past mistakes haunt me in the future? -Karen, Wisconsin

Answer: I recommend that you and your fiancé open the lines of communication—your marriage may depend on it. After all, money is the number one reason couples fight. Fortunately, if you marry, your new spouse's poor credit will not be entered on your credit bureau file. Of course, you’ve already learned that your partner’s poor credit can affect you when you apply for credit jointly. Encourage him to reestablish his credit by using a secured credit card wisely.

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Question: I divorced my husband four years ago. Our divorce decree stated that we were not responsible for each others’ debts. This month, I suddenly received a nasty letter from one of the creditors. Apparently, my ex declared bankruptcy. They claim my divorce decree is useless when it comes to credit card debt. I am in a state of shock; I thought that this couldn't happen. -Linda, Tennessee

Answer: I am afraid that the creditor is correct. The divorce decree is between you and your husband and not your creditors. The contracts you signed with your creditors have not changed and cannot be changed by the divorce decree. Your only recourse now may be to file contempt of court charges against your husband for his failure to abide by the terms of the divorce decree. Because these issues are legal in nature (and I am not a lawyer), you might want to consult an attorney about your rights.

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Question: My girlfriend is angry because I did not name her as the sole beneficiary of my life insurance policy. Is that reasonable? I think she's asking too much too soon. -Michael, Colorado

Answer: No, it is not reasonable. Because you are not married, I advise you to be very careful about mingling money matters. If this relationship is important to you, I recommend you visit a trained relationship counselor to help you establish appropriate boundaries.

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If you have a question, check out our entire list of commonly asked questions and answers.  If you cannot find an answer to your question, I encourage you to Ask The Experts.